Thursday, February 22, 2007
Good Morning Fellow Queens!
Due to the little man being home from school due to an allergic reaction to his strep throat antibiotic - I don't have to go into detail. You all have seen and starred in that movie - I have been watching a whole slew of kid TV with him.
With apologies to our Queens who have already survived this right of passage and our Queen Mums (those Queens who have grown sons and live to tell, All Hail!) here are my observations.
Either Maisy is a huge, giant mouse or that Eddie the elephant is a pygmy.
When is Ming Ming from Wonder Pets going to get some speech therapy?
Is it me or is Joe from Blue's Clues a little.....creepy?
Diego and Dora are the same person. Just like Michael Jackson and Diana Ross.
I want Cosmo from The Fairly Odd Parents to suffer an unfortunate accident rendering him mute. Such an icky show, now banned from my castle.
And finally, Prince #3 better get better soon. Patrick from Spongebob is starting to sound like an intellectual to me.
Our boy story is a compilation from our Message Board Queens (to join in, click here) who pondered the question- What have you found in your dryer?
Money - I call this getting paid! Rocks -lots of them. A pull-up -eww. Crayons -usually not found until after the clothes come out of the dryer. Toilet paper. Poker chips. Worms. Matchbox cars. School ID's. Shark teeth. Shells. Plastic army guys. Ticks -they evidently survive the wash cycle. Snail - they don't.
Reign On Queens! And check their pockets!
Queen Linda
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
What. The. Hell. Week Two.
My futile attempts to contribute to the Ford Family Fund led me to a job interview yesterday for a small catering company. I figured $25 per delivery would be a way to get some dinero, still get some writing done and take a teeny step out of our seemingly endless financial pergatory. Hopefully I would dodge the fun of last week's Valentine's Day mommy-has-to-work-let's-all-get-sick. Yeah right.
On the way home from the successful interview and commitment to shadow a driving for the next two days I get a call from the school. "Your son has a head to toe rash, you need to pick him up."
After a trip back to the ped it appears that he has had a reaction to the strep antibiotic. nice. But he is back at school today, splotches and all.
I ask you again..
Is someone trying to tell me something?
ps. day one of no smoking. Encouragement please!
On the way home from the successful interview and commitment to shadow a driving for the next two days I get a call from the school. "Your son has a head to toe rash, you need to pick him up."
After a trip back to the ped it appears that he has had a reaction to the strep antibiotic. nice. But he is back at school today, splotches and all.
I ask you again..
Is someone trying to tell me something?
ps. day one of no smoking. Encouragement please!
Thursday, February 15, 2007
My first freelance article!!!
The day I came bearing roses
The Dallas Morning News, 07:46 AM CST on Tuesday, February 13, 2007
By LINDA MARIE FORD / Contributor
I have a list. And my name is not Earl.
It is not the cliché Things to Do Before I Die list. I have a Things I Never Thought I Would Do but Have Done list.
I approach life in a "Hey, that could be one for The List" kind of way.
There are several beauties on The List already, such as spending two weeks in Australia; seeing the Pope on Easter Sunday; running a marathon; being profiled in Ladies' Home Journal and attending NASCAR.
So, last February, when I saw a sign seeking floral delivery drivers, I knew it was something to add to The List.
•
On Valentine's Day, I pull up to the loading dock at 7:15 a.m. The pros have their vans lined with waterproof tarps cradling plastic bins that are partitioned for maximum loading.
I take a clipboard and read over the procedures:
1. Proper loading of deliveries is most important.
2. It is my responsibility to check for missing roses, discolored water or damaged filler.
3. I must get a signature for all deliveries.
4. I will be paid $6 for each delivery.
I am given a sign for my windshield that says, "FTD Floral Delivery." It looks more professional than the one I made that says, "Dear Officer. Please don't tow me. I'm delivering flowers for Valentine's Day. Maybe I have some for you!"
•
7:51 a.m.: The van is loaded and I'm off for my first delivery. I take a right turn out of the parking lot and hear a splash from the back seat. My quick turning skills, perfected during years of driving carpool, will not be needed today. The address is a building at Southern Methodist University. I find it and hustle in with the roses. The receptionist takes them; the lucky recipient isn't in. Buzz kill. But my first delivery is completed.
8:41: Second delivery information includes an address and building that don't match. I check the card to see who sent Mitzi flowers and curse him.
10:17: Loaded and ready to go again. I'm known as the woman who made three deliveries to SMU in an hour. I don't know whether that is good or bad.
11:34: My car smells like flowers. It's much better than the sour-milk-and-stinky-boy smell it usually has.
12:14: The bloom is off the rose, literally. While pulling an arrangement out, I spun too quickly and decapitated a rose. I replace it with extras I brought for just such an emergency.
1:18: My nonexistent sense of direction makes me long for the compass feature in my old car. I eat a power bar and recaffeinate.
2:15: I was in the elevator of an office building when the doors opened and a guy started to get on. When he saw the arrangement I had, he uttered, "Doh!" I surmise that he also forgets his wife's birthday, their anniversary and which day the garbage goes out. I told him to relax, he had plenty of time to get something for his sweetie. He owes me big.
2:43: Time to turn in my paperwork and add floral transport engineer to The List. Everyone likes to peek through the peephole and see someone delivering flowers. Well, except for the woman who was bummed when she realized that the huge arrangement I had was for her neighbor.
Linda Marie Ford is a Dallas freelance writer and founder of It's Good to Be the Queen, a Web site for moms of boys. E-mail her at queenlinda@itsgoodtobethe queen.com.
The Dallas Morning News, 07:46 AM CST on Tuesday, February 13, 2007
By LINDA MARIE FORD / Contributor
I have a list. And my name is not Earl.
It is not the cliché Things to Do Before I Die list. I have a Things I Never Thought I Would Do but Have Done list.
I approach life in a "Hey, that could be one for The List" kind of way.
There are several beauties on The List already, such as spending two weeks in Australia; seeing the Pope on Easter Sunday; running a marathon; being profiled in Ladies' Home Journal and attending NASCAR.
So, last February, when I saw a sign seeking floral delivery drivers, I knew it was something to add to The List.
•
On Valentine's Day, I pull up to the loading dock at 7:15 a.m. The pros have their vans lined with waterproof tarps cradling plastic bins that are partitioned for maximum loading.
I take a clipboard and read over the procedures:
1. Proper loading of deliveries is most important.
2. It is my responsibility to check for missing roses, discolored water or damaged filler.
3. I must get a signature for all deliveries.
4. I will be paid $6 for each delivery.
I am given a sign for my windshield that says, "FTD Floral Delivery." It looks more professional than the one I made that says, "Dear Officer. Please don't tow me. I'm delivering flowers for Valentine's Day. Maybe I have some for you!"
•
7:51 a.m.: The van is loaded and I'm off for my first delivery. I take a right turn out of the parking lot and hear a splash from the back seat. My quick turning skills, perfected during years of driving carpool, will not be needed today. The address is a building at Southern Methodist University. I find it and hustle in with the roses. The receptionist takes them; the lucky recipient isn't in. Buzz kill. But my first delivery is completed.
8:41: Second delivery information includes an address and building that don't match. I check the card to see who sent Mitzi flowers and curse him.
10:17: Loaded and ready to go again. I'm known as the woman who made three deliveries to SMU in an hour. I don't know whether that is good or bad.
11:34: My car smells like flowers. It's much better than the sour-milk-and-stinky-boy smell it usually has.
12:14: The bloom is off the rose, literally. While pulling an arrangement out, I spun too quickly and decapitated a rose. I replace it with extras I brought for just such an emergency.
1:18: My nonexistent sense of direction makes me long for the compass feature in my old car. I eat a power bar and recaffeinate.
2:15: I was in the elevator of an office building when the doors opened and a guy started to get on. When he saw the arrangement I had, he uttered, "Doh!" I surmise that he also forgets his wife's birthday, their anniversary and which day the garbage goes out. I told him to relax, he had plenty of time to get something for his sweetie. He owes me big.
2:43: Time to turn in my paperwork and add floral transport engineer to The List. Everyone likes to peek through the peephole and see someone delivering flowers. Well, except for the woman who was bummed when she realized that the huge arrangement I had was for her neighbor.
Linda Marie Ford is a Dallas freelance writer and founder of It's Good to Be the Queen, a Web site for moms of boys. E-mail her at queenlinda@itsgoodtobethe queen.com.
Monday, February 12, 2007
What. The. Hell. work day 4
Today it is strep. The little man is home with me but should go to school tomorrow.
Aint antibiotics grand?
Aint antibiotics grand?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
What the hell.
I decided to follow up last year's gig as a valentine delivery chick with a 5 day stint at Godiva.
The first day was a bit of training, hanging out in the store. The rest of the time would be spent handing out samples and doing what I like best- yapping with complete strangers. So far I've advised two guys on the perfect engagement, gave one dude my list of how to weed out women that aren't right for him and talked a woman down off the ledge when she wanted to buy nut clusters for her highly allergic mother in law.
All fun, but here's the prob.
Day One - Prince #2 staggers into the kitchen saying he doesn't feel well. And he looks it too. Hubby could swing going into the office later and Prince #1 had a 1/2 day so my sicky boy was only home alone for a nano second. My "I am the worst mother in the world" mental beating is gruesome.
Day Two - I was able to catch 10 minutes of the kids basketball game before my shift at choco land. I'm waiting to turn right out of the school parking lot and a 3 car pile up happens right in front of me. Simple teenage failure to stop. One chick was stopped signaling to go left, the car behind her stopped, the car behind her-not so much. The last 2 cars had teenage boys driving them and they were so freaked. Poor little guys. I called 911, made sure everyone was ok, gave my statement to the police and was 30 minutes late for work.
Day Three- Today- 7:30 am, the call every parent longs to hear - "Moooooommmmmy! I don't feel good." Prince #3 is now running a 102.5 temp and I'm supposed to be a la mall in 2 hours. His temp is back down, I'm worried that it is strep, hubby has to go on a business trip on Monday leaving me to rely on the kindness of friends to juggle the boys. So let's do the math- $7.50 an hour, which I think the boys blew the last 2 days salary when they went to Zuzu's for dinner last night because that is way easier than raiding the pantry.
Day 1 - Sick kid
Day 2 - Three car pile up blocking my way to work
Day 3 - Another sick kid.
Someone is trying to tell me something.
The first day was a bit of training, hanging out in the store. The rest of the time would be spent handing out samples and doing what I like best- yapping with complete strangers. So far I've advised two guys on the perfect engagement, gave one dude my list of how to weed out women that aren't right for him and talked a woman down off the ledge when she wanted to buy nut clusters for her highly allergic mother in law.
All fun, but here's the prob.
Day One - Prince #2 staggers into the kitchen saying he doesn't feel well. And he looks it too. Hubby could swing going into the office later and Prince #1 had a 1/2 day so my sicky boy was only home alone for a nano second. My "I am the worst mother in the world" mental beating is gruesome.
Day Two - I was able to catch 10 minutes of the kids basketball game before my shift at choco land. I'm waiting to turn right out of the school parking lot and a 3 car pile up happens right in front of me. Simple teenage failure to stop. One chick was stopped signaling to go left, the car behind her stopped, the car behind her-not so much. The last 2 cars had teenage boys driving them and they were so freaked. Poor little guys. I called 911, made sure everyone was ok, gave my statement to the police and was 30 minutes late for work.
Day Three- Today- 7:30 am, the call every parent longs to hear - "Moooooommmmmy! I don't feel good." Prince #3 is now running a 102.5 temp and I'm supposed to be a la mall in 2 hours. His temp is back down, I'm worried that it is strep, hubby has to go on a business trip on Monday leaving me to rely on the kindness of friends to juggle the boys. So let's do the math- $7.50 an hour, which I think the boys blew the last 2 days salary when they went to Zuzu's for dinner last night because that is way easier than raiding the pantry.
Day 1 - Sick kid
Day 2 - Three car pile up blocking my way to work
Day 3 - Another sick kid.
Someone is trying to tell me something.
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